24th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Forgiveness is serious business.  When Jesus ends the parable in today’s gospel with, “So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from the heart,” there should be no doubt that we have some soul searching to do.  We have to forgive or risk losing everything we hope for. 

The first and most important thing about forgiveness then is that it is not optional.  We have to do it.  It’s an essential part of being a Christian.  If we say we are followers of Christ, then we have to extend mercy to everyone.  Our good God has shown mercy to us and will continue to show mercy to us each and every time we ask for it.  And having been shown mercy, we then are to be merciful to all those in need of it from us.  That’s the deal, and it’s a good one, so we ought to make sure we are doing our part.

That having been said, the second thing about forgiveness is that often it is not easy.  When someone hurts us in a serious way, we are angry and bitter.  As the first reading from Sirach says, we hug our wrath and anger tight.  We have a death grip on our pain and to be asked to let go and move on is not something that comes easily or naturally.

And those deep, heartfelt feelings don’t leave us anytime soon.  Years later, the thought of what was done to us, or sometimes, even worse, someone close to us, pops into our head, and we feel it all over again.  That’s not good for many reasons, but the most important one is that if we don’t do something about it, our chances for peace and happiness here and in the life to come are compromised.  Remember the first point – forgiveness is not an option.  We have to do it.

The third thing about forgiveness, though, offers some help, and that is that forgiveness is not about feelings.  If we had to wait until our emotions become warm and fuzzy after we have been betrayed or abused or mistreated, we would all be waiting a long time and there would be no forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an act of the will.  To forgive is a choice we make, despite our feelings and is in no way dependent on our feelings.  We forgive because we have been forgiven.  And when we find ourselves unwilling to forgive, we ask the Lord to make us willing, or willing to be willing, or willing to be willing to be willing.  All the Lord needs to have grace work in us is the smallest opening, and then we are on the path to forgiveness.  Patience is often needed, for sure, but with God’s grace, we can get there.

We might ask the Holy Spirit in the days ahead to bring to mind anyone whom we may need to forgive.  The Spirit desires to make us holy, so He will do that.  And once we know who needs our forgiveness, we make the decision to forgive them, and in time, the emotions lessen and even disappear, thanks to God’s healing grace.